Culture of Self

My life represents suburban America.  I grew up in an upper middle class family and learned from the beginning the values, customs, and morals inherent in the typical suburban environment.  The suburban culture has influenced the way I view race, class, gender, sexuality, language, and religion.

            Subtle and sometimes not so subtle racism has been part of my suburban upbringing.  I was born and raised in Bridgewater, N.J., where I could count on one hand the number of African American students in my schools.  I witnessed prejudice in school and in the opinions expressed by my friends and their families.  Although my particular family was not blatantly racist, subtle undertones were always present about the “different” black culture.  I did not have much direct contact with inner city diverse kids, except when I met them on the athletic fields.  Their attitudes of disrespect, combativeness, and their apparent lack of parental involvement in instilling restraint, helped to reinforce my negative image.  My preconceived ideas about inner city students especially African Americans coupled with my negative views based on limited experience, developed my negativity towards how I view race differences. 

            Class distinction is a part of suburbia.  It was apparent to me at an early age that class and upward mobility was related.  I was taught that a good education leads to desirable jobs with financial benefits.  The material things in life were worth working for.  A respect for school, teachers, and learning was ingrained in me.  My two older brothers and myself never considered college as an option, but rather as just a part of what life would bring.  The work ethic as a means to success and a good life was indoctrinated as norm.  Class and status were linked to success and happiness.

            Gender roles in suburbia, although changing with time, are definable.  My view on gender has come through experiences as a child. My father was the “bread winner” and my mother the caretaker. Dads were measured by their success and moms were measured by their sensitivity. I was taught to respect both men and women, however, an extra respect and sense of protection for women was stressed. Roles are changing and both men and women are reevaluating their goals and places in society. The stereotypical roles of gender, however, still remain ingrained, to some degree in suburbia.

            Sexuality is addressed in suburbia as a cause for concern.  I learned as early as sixth grade, the consequences of sexual activity.  Sex affects all cultures and all kids trying to define their sexuality.  In suburbia, however, there is an effort to address not just health issues related to sex, but the social and moral consequences of it.  I grew up viewing different standards for men and women, regarding sexual activity.  Some behaviors would be thought of as “cool” for guys, but “cheap” for girls.  The stigma of teenage pregnancy is greater for girls than for boys.  Although views on sex are changing, there still remains a minor double standard based on gender.

            Language in my suburban schools is geared toward basic “proper” English.  I learned “correct” English and was unaware and unexposed to other forms of our own language.  Of course I learned slang, but for the most part, it was reserved for only certain audiences.  It was okay to speak in slang with friends or at home, but polite language was required for most arenas including schools, workplace, church, and all respectful gatherings.  Speaking correctly with respect for others was a part of my suburban upbringing.  Starting in sixth grade all students were required to take a second language.  I chose Spanish because it was the most widely used language in the world (besides English) and because my grandparents speak Italian, which is a similar language.

            Religion in my town growing up was used as a means of moral reinforcement.  I grew up as a Roman Catholic and attended Confraternity of Christian Doctrine classes as well as church every Sunday.  My family was not particularly religious, but I now realize that they encouraged religion to encourage goodness.  Suburban parents seemed to frequently see religion as a means of instilling fear as a consequence of misbehavior.  Religion is also seen as a way to instill the values and morals of society.  I attended Immaculata High School in Somerville, NJ, which is a Catholic school.  We were required to take a religion-based course each semester as well as attend church every other Thursday.  The exposure that I was subject to informed me more about my religion and strengthened my faith in God.

            My suburban culture has impacted my views.  I have however, expanded my life experiences to reach out beyond the limits of suburban thoughts and ideals.  I lived with my club soccer team in Peru, a third world country during the summer of my sophomore year in high school.  I also attended college at the University of Tennessee, which gave me an understanding of life in a small southern city.  In addition, I studied abroad in Italy for a semester during my junior year in college.  These experiences enlightened me about the world beyond suburban America.

            I grew up in the “bubble” of suburbia, but I am interested in understanding life beyond it.  My parents were successful and gave me all the benefits that come from being part of the upper middle class.  Their parents however, were immigrants, who taught me some humility.  As much as I have inhaled the suburban life, I have always had an interest in understanding other ways of life.

            Many factors have shaped the suburban culture that I grew up in.  These factors influence what I think of myself, how I relate to others, how successful I might become, and how I will perform in the classroom.  I know I need to be open-minded, and making an effort to understand other cultures will help in teaching.  Finding a common ground between cultures will hopefully make me into the teacher I hope to be.